Mandy's memories
Created by Mandy 14 years ago
Matty was a dedicated and inspiring guitarist. In spite of his dedication he made room in his short life to touch so many with his caring attitude and sense of humour.
We will keep his memory alive....
From his loving mum Mandy;
When I was pregnant I bought Matt a rag doll feeling (wrongly) that I was expecting another girl. I sorted this out by changing it into “Billy” by removing the dress and cutting her hair. Billy was your favourite toy that needed constant repair due to too much “love”. How cross he was years later when looking at photos he realised, boy did you tease me!
Matty was a jolly baby in a yellow cardigan and loved the action song “ Galloping Major” with plenty of giggles.
At two Kip was born but the four year old Matty did not “do” dribbly babies. This was a very difficult time for me. At three we got a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and then became the long uphill battle to obtain the help Matt deserved.
Most of us have a set of rules programmed into us where we know how to behave and react in many situations especially socially. Matt had to learn and re-learn all these. He did this by repetition and asking lots and lots of the same questions. He said he had a tape recorder in his head that he could switch on and off. However he needed to live in the real world and that was a challenge for both of us but one thing a professional said to me that really helped was “He is determined but you have to be just that bit more determined than him.” And so I held Matt’s hand through the battle of his life.
At primary school he got upset and disappeared and the school were puzzled when I was not too worried. I knew Matt and how he needed to feel safe and know what was going on but he could not be found on the school premises at all. He was found halfway up a tree in the school field where he could hear everything we were saying !
Stef Matt and Kip attended Matt Whitelock’s drama classes provided by Woodley Theatre. And he took part with the puppets in our Ferdy productions which all gave him great experience working in a group. He and Chris had great support at his lovely primary school Woodley C of E. There I made a Mr Bean-like slip of the trimmers when cutting his hair and he looked like a monk for weeks. He also loved Beavers being looked after by Marion who many of the ex-beavers will know as “Superted”.
As his last production with Woodley Theatre he amazed everyone by his poignant portrayal of a teenager lost tragically in the Hillsborough Disaster. He showed great empathy for the people lost and their loved ones. He almost bottled out of the performance days before but with lots of all-round encouragement he decided to “do it for them”. I went to one of the dress rehearsal and cried because I was so proud of him. I went to every subsequent show and it was a sport backstage to see when my waterworks would start. One of the lines in the songs touched me deeply “If I stand alone sometimes, just leave me, let me be”.
His Aspergers was an annoyance to Matt but lately he started to realise what an asset it was in making him determined to succeed. His early obsessions went from Thomas the Tank to Sharks to Aladdin to Spiderman and then from Metallica to Terakai and his music. It gave him the drive and determination to ignore all else in his quest for perfection and he was just starting to see the results and revelling in it. He had become a musical genius on his guitar and it was wonderful to see. He said to me “This is the best it gets, mum!”
He did have a deep faith that raised as many questions for him as it did answers. We had many discussions about this and he was open about the things that challenged him. Matt had an extraordinary empathy although he had trouble reading emotions. He often asked about things people had said and done to try and remember how to behave the next time. He loved and cared deeply for all of the family and the band and the many close friends he had found over the years. He resented the fact that his music kept him from seeing them as much as he liked but it acted as a magnet for him.
Every time I went out Matt asked me to bring him a drink he needed to know I thought about him when I was out. As a family we shared a deep affection and understanding for each other , now we feel a bit like a jigsaw with a vital piece missing.
On the last night Matt went to bed he rubbed my back, gave me a big kiss on my cheek and a big warm hug went off to bed with is Rudolf hot water bottle and snuggled down and went to sleep.
God Bless you my nimble-fingered handsome son; there are no more fears, worries and struggles -my love is yours forever.
Mum x